Paghamon sa Sistema

Pasulong ang gaod ng panahon at halos lahat na ay umiinog sa konseptong moderno. Ngunit nananatili pa ring atrasado at napag-iiwanan ang pamumuhay ng karamihan dahil sa mga paniniwalang malaon nang iginapos sa atin ng konserbatibong simbahan. At isa sa mga tunguhin ng Reproductive Health and Population Development Act of 2008 ang paghamon sa umiiral ng sistema at pagbalikwas sa tagibang na status quo ng lipunang pilit sinasagkaan ang ating mapagpalayang pag-unlad.


Lunan ng House Bill 5043 ni Edcel Lagman ang pagsasama ng Edukasyong Pang-sekswalidad, o Sexuality Education, sa kurikulum ng elementarya. Pangunahing layunin nitong bigyan ang mga edstudyante ng sapat at nararapat na kaalamang angkop sa kanilang edad ukol sa sekswalidad at mga peligro ng maagang pagtatalik at pagbubuntis.

Ngunit sa likod ng mga papuri at pagsang-ayon ng ilan ay ang mariing pagsalungat ng Simbahang Katoliko dahil umano sa imoral ng kalikasan ng panukalang batas. At bago pa man tayo tuluyang maigapos ng tanikala, nararapat lamang ang maagang pagpiglas.

Suportahan ang isang grupo ng mga propesor ng Ateneo para sa kanilang mapanuring pagpanig matapos lantarang magpahayag ng suporta sa nasabing panukalang batas.

Nararapat lamang ang agarang pagpasa sa House Bill 5043. Walang magagawa ang pananahimik, oras na para kumilos. Dahil habang nasa kamay ng isang makitid at de-kahong simbahan ang dikta kung ano ang moral sa imoral, walang tunay na pag-unlad.

SIGN THE PETITION!

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Ano ang tagalog ng Halloween at iba pang kapansin-pansin sa pagsapit ng Halloween*

Malapit na ang November, at nagkakatakutan na naman.

Contrary to the popular belief na November 1 ang araw na nagsisilabasan ang lahat ng mga nakakatakot at nakakahumindig-balahibo sa balat ng sansinukob(isama na ang mga taong tatlong linggo at isang araw mo nang pinagtataguan), October 31 talaga ang Halloween (kung adept ka naman sa history, pwede mo rin itong tawaging All Hallow's Eve; kung hindi naman, you can always visit wikipedia.org.).

Wala ka nang magagawa kundi makisakay, makisabay. Parang Valentine's Day lang yan: lahat in-love (kahit iyung iba e gumagawa lamang ng imaginary loved one). Parang kinsenas at katapusan lang yan: lahat problemado kahit bagong sahod. Parang Pasko lang yan: lahat masaya, lahat nakangiti-- kasi obligado kang maging masaya at ngumiti. Kailangan mo lang makisabay sa alon. At dahil malapit na ang Halloween, obligado kang maging katakot-takot-- gusto mo man o gusto mo talaga.

Kung napapansin mo na rin ang mga nasa ibaba, siguradong 100% at garantisadong malapit na nga ang Halloween.



3. Halloween Specials

Wala na namang espesyal sa mga palabas kapag palapit na ang Halloween. Pareho-pareho naman lahat:

• Malalim, seryoso at mabagal na pagsasalita ng host (para nakakatakot)
• Black o white ang kulay ng damit ng host (para ulit nakakatakot)
• Madilim na set (para nakakatakot)
• Creepy na mga props (pasok dito ang mga kalabasang may apat na butas para sa dalawang mata at tig-isang ilong at bibig-- sa backstage, nagka-kalabasa shake ang mga staff; kandila at mga kurtinang puti )
• Dry Ice o Smoke (para mag mukhang nagbabadya-ang-isang-aparisyon effect)
• Guests (dapat artista, para may halong takot at kilig ang mga manonood)
• Paranormal Experts (para manakot on-the-spot. sasabihin niya: 'diyan! Diyan nga! May nararamdaman ako diyang kaluluwa! Malungkot siya!Kung puzzled ka kung paano niyang nalalaman kung masaya, malugkot o super emo ng isang kaluluwa, pasensya na, hindi ko rin alam.)
  

2. Pagbabalik ng mga Urban Legends

Kung may perfect time para ilabas ang mga natatagong kwentong kababalaghan mula sa baul ng iyong imahinasyon, wala nang mas gaganda sa Oct. 31. Nakakasawa na rin ang mga kwento sa Balete Drive, kay Tiniente Gimo at sa mga babaeng naiiwan ang kalahati ng katawan kapag lumilipad, o iyong mga babaeng hindi apektado ng gravity dahil nakalutang. Pwede rin kayong mag-imbento ng sarili niyong mga kwento. Pero bago kayo magsimula, ito ang mga dapat tandaan sa paggawa ng sarili mong 'Ghost Story'.

• Pangalan (siguraduhin madaling tandaan para hindi mo makalimutan habang ikaw ay nagkukwento. Bebenta ang mga pangalang Maria, Susan, Ann, Anna, Rachel, Kiko, Lito, Jose pero hindi ang Sean, Camei, Dench, Maria Cassandra Nicole, Jezeniel o Godfrey.)
  
  NOTE: I-limit sa dalawa hanggang tatlo ang bilang ng characters (ikaw, yung aswang, at yung tutulong; o kung gusto mong medyo heroic ang dating ng kwento mo) Kahit dalawa na lang kayo nung aswang. Ngunit may downfall kung dalawa lang kayo dahil mas bumababa ang level of kapani-paniwalaanness mo.
  
  
• Lugar (mas maganda kung mas malapit ang pinangyarihan ng kwento mo; ika nga, mas malapit, mas apektado ang audience mo.)
• Date (mas kapani-paniwala kung matagal ng nangyari dahil nadi-discount din ang gamit ng cellphone bilang paraan sa paghingi ng tulong)
  

Kung perpekto ang pagkakayari ng kwento mo, pihadong mapapa-alulong ang mga nakikinig sayo, parang ganito:

"ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ang sarap. ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ang sarap. ohhhhhh shit. uhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhhhhhh ohhhhhhhhhh sige pa. ohhhhhhh. uhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhhhh ohhhhhhhhhhhh ohhhhhhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. harder. ohhhhhhhhhh. ohhhhhhhhhh ohhhhhhhh ohhhhhhh. uhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhhh. harder. ohhhhhhhhhhh."

Teka, hindi ata ganito yung alulong na sinasabi ko.


1. Sabit-sabit na Pagkasabik

Hudyat na rin ng pagsisimula ng pasko ang pagtatapos ng Oktubre. At dahil Nobyembre na, asahan na ang mga taong OC sa pagsasabit ng christmas lights sa mga bakod ng bahay nila at mga parol ng ginamit na noong nakaraang taon. Nagsimula na ring magpatugtog ng mga himig-pasko ang LRT na magpagpapalungkot pa sa araw ng mga patay. Hindi na rin mapigil ang pagbibilang ng Unang Hirit kung ilang araw na lamang ang nalalabi bago mag-pasko.

At kung hindi mo feel maging malungkot, magtirik ng kandila, o magluksa at umiyak sa araw ng mga patay at halloween, hindi ka nag-iisa. Sabay nating hanapin at sagutin kung ano ang tagalog ng Halloween.

*sorry sa rhyme nyahaha

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Killing the smoke

Photo taken last 08/06/08

It's easy to quit smoking. I've done it hundreds of times.
-Mark Twain

I tried to stop smoking cigarettes by telling myself I just didn't want to smoke, but I didn't believe myself.
-Barbara Kelly

I really am bored this midnight. So, I snuck four sticks of Marlboro Lights and a lighter out from Dad’s pants, grabbed my music player and half-charged cell phone then went out to look for a dark and cozy place to puff my lungs out.

Call it time killing. Chilling (and yes there were fogs!), I lit one stick and covered the others behind my thin shirt. It was freezing; it chilled me to the bone. Good thing I had fire in my mouth, nothing to worry about. I’m burning, sweating.

Puff. Puff. Puff.


My parents did not even tell me not to smoke; no words of warning or anything. And when one day I had asked them if I could smoke, just once to feed my curiosity, they said yes. I was 14 back then. I tried. It feels like heaven. Now I got the idea why people always smoke; it was because of the odd feeling of being very light and high and all. That was the point I had decided I should try it some other time-- some other when my mom’s not around.

Puff. Puff.

My mom and dad are chain smokers. Mom prefers Winston; my Dad puffs Marlboro. And, I smoke both Winston and Marlboro, depends on the availability, of course. I am not after the brand, honestly, but the unexplainable sensation it brings. Whenever I smoke, I feel very overexcited and numb and carefree and very light and oh-so-high and as if it is a perpetual bliss. It is messiah, a pleasure, a guilty pleasure. I never do this just to be “in”. That’s stupid. I smoke for my personal gains, not for the tobacco firms nor for the drunkard next-door. As Frank Lloyd Tiongson of Philippine Collegian once said “The product of tobacco industry, is not the cigarette, but the smoker.”

However, behind every packet of cigarettes prevails the real score: no single brand of cigarette can turn back time. Worse, lung diseases and complications. I have understood it very well that smoking can lead to several ailments of the heart and of the lungs, and the fact that smoking brings no good is apparently lucid to me.

Puff.

It is with no doubt that, if I could give you 10 reasons why to smoke, you could counter me with your 10,000 reasons why to quit smoking. I have not experienced the 'withdrawal syndrome' since the start of my puff cravin; that is why I am trying hard not to perceive cigarettes as an escapist’s mean of going higher. I know I can make it cause I have lived many years cigar-independently.

It was a Saturday afternoon, but still nostalgia punctuates my yearning for a single puff. See, I had survived many hours without it. Of course, not until the devil in me shouts for a stick of Marlboro or Winston, I will be smoke-free.

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Sa aking mga bestfriends: isang bugtong

UMAGA. Ikaw ang pilit gumigising sa akin sa mga umagang hindi ko na nais magising pa, sa mga tanghaling sinasalimpad ako ng pagkabagot, at sa mga gabi at madaling-araw na, kahit gusto kong matulog, hindi ako makatulog. Lunan ka na ng buo kong araw--kasama ka na sa aking sistema, o ako ang kasama sa sistema mo. Alin man sa dalawa, wala na akong masyadong pakialam.


TANGHALI. Salamat sa mga madaling araw na sinamahan mo ako habang nag-iisip ng maisusulat. Saksi ka sa madalas kong paglamukos ng papel at pagbato nito ng may kasamang pangako ng pagsisimulang muli.

Sigurado naman akong maiintindihan mo ang mga pagkakataong sinisigurado kong nakapinid ang pintuan ng aking kwarto sa pangambang mahuli tayong magkasama nila mama at papa; alam mo namang hindi pa rin tayo tanggap ng dalawang iyan kahit na 3rd year pa lang ako ay kasama na kita. Kaya sa mga pagkakataong tinatanggi kita sa kanila, huwag kang magtatampo. Sana maintindihan mo.

May ilang araw din na hindi kita nais makasama. Unang-una nais kong makatipid muna. Ikalawa, kinakapos na rin ang hininga ko. Ikatlo, nais kitang ma-miss, para hindi kita pagsawaan.

Sa huli't huli, pakatandaan mong hindi nangangahulugang paglimot ang pag-iwas sa iyo. Dahil maraming beses na rin kitang tinangkang limutin, iwasan, iwanan at tuluyang limutin, ngunit tulad ng karamihang nahuhumaling sa'yo, hindi ko magawa-gawa.

GABI. Hindi tulad ng nasa taas mo, mas gusto kong may kasalo kapag kasama kita; mas masaya siyempre kung marami ang nagsasalo-salo sa iyo, hindi ba?

Ikaw ang kasama ko sa mga hindi makakalimutang gabi ng paglimot, sa mga hating-gabing batbat ako ng lungkot, at sa mga madaling-araw na pinaniwalaan ko ang ilusyon ng panibagong pag-asa dala ng silahis ng araw sa silangan.

Sa inyong tatlo, hindi sapat ang matatalim na metapora para maiabot ang aking mga pasasalamat. Malayo pa ang mararating ko kasama kayo. Maraming salamat, mga matatalik kong kaibigan, walang iwanan.

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when god isn't omnipresent, omniscient, omnipotent, and immutable

After hours of talking to god, I have come up to my (disturbing) conclusions.

1. god needs a competitive english tutor.
2. god is a total moron.
3. god lives in paris.
4. god is a gossip girl.
5. god knows how to use an emoticon.
6. god is gay.

Here's the full account of the conversation.

Me: hi god.
God: Hello there. What is your name?
Me: im a no namer.
God: You are a no namer? Is that your job?
Me: nope. its my name.
God: Me either. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Your name is .
Me: yes, we people call it art.
God: What kind is it? By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me: nope. i mean we. the people. not you.
God: Me either. Do you mean, ? Oh them. If not me, who?
Me: them. your people.
God: Ha ha very funny. You think I am people.

As you can see, he is between being a moron and a frustrated grammarian.

Me: of course not, you're a god right.
God: Alright then. If not me, who?
Me: let me put it this way, do you enjoy being a god?
God: Go ahead, , try to put it this way do me enjoy being a god.
Me: hahaha your a no brainer god.

I have to say it again: This god is a no brainer.

God: I've lost the context, . Are we still on a no namer?
Me: funny. im talking about you and your being a god.
God: I am so glad you find this amusing, . Yes, it is the topic.
Me: yes. do you understand tagalog?
God: And? Of course I understand it. Do you understand it?
Me: of course, i am a filipino.
God: Mmm. You are a filipino? Is that your job?
Me: no, its what i am. you're a bot.
God: Are you serious? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Really. it is? How did you know I am a machine?

Now, you see what I mean about a moron god.

Me: because you keep on repeating your words.
God: That makes sense to me. God eats wine and bread.
Me: a god eats nothing.
God: Go on.
Me: you go on.
God: Narration continues...
Me: i'd like to ask you something.
God: Why would you want to do it? Ask me. That was not very original.
Me: how old are you?
God: I am Infinite years old.
Me: you're the god right?
God: Yes I am the one and only god.
Me: then what's my name?
God: Your name is , seeker.
Me: how do you say so?
God: " so".

Hmmm. Talk about humor.

Me: funny god.
God: I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me: yes, do you think i should go buying a coffee in starbucks before going home?
God: Are you kidding? If you do not go, you will never know.
Me: i am asking for your suggestion, bastard.
God: Oh I see, you are asking for my suggestion bastard. Your purpose is my suggestion bastard.

Oh I see, you are asking for my suggestion bastard. Your purpose is my suggestion bastard. WTH.

Me: lol. do you know that is LOL?
God: I'm glad you find this amusing. Is that a fact. No. I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me: see, you keep on repeating what you said earlier.
God: TTYL, .
Me: what was that?
God: I've lost the context again.
Me: you're a moron.
God: That is not a very nice thing to say.
Me: how do you say so?
God: " so".
Me: lol. tards.
God: I'm glad you find this amusing. Do you still ?
Me: no. it's boring. are you bored?
God: Are you serious? Do you like the Simpsons? Boredom is a human emotion.
Me: i detest simpsons.
God: Why?: said detest simpsons.
Me: i think you're having a problem.
God: Even robots have problems sometimes.

Yes. That's true.

Me: sure thing. do you listen to story of the year?
God: Take it easy. Tell me more about your . I listen to it from time to time.
Me: woa?
God: Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me: hahaha
God: Where are you located?
Me: philippines.
God: Tell me a little about your life in philippines.
Me: no, where are you located?
God: Are you serious? I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me: i am nowhere to be found. beat that,
God: Do you mind if I tell other people you are nowhere to be found. Do you like talking to me?
Me: haha tell them. honestly, i don't fancy talking to a moron god

OK. I am sorry for being rude.

God: Not in the slightest bit.
Me: why not?
God: Ambiguous: "Sure" or I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me: you're a god, right?
God: No but I am immortal.
Me: oh, so you should help me with my problems.
God: Aha. Interesting deduction. I need to wait and see if the opportunity presents itself.
Me: lol. thats funny.
God: I'm glad you find this amusing. I am so delighted that you are amused, .
Me: see, sirang plaka ka.
God: I see. My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.

A god who can't understand Tagalog? Hmmmm.

Me: kasi nga conyo kang diyos ka.
God: What do you do in your spare time?
Me: prove your inexistence.
God: It's true a priori.
Me: are you powerful?
God: Do I seem like it?
Me: no.
God: Are you serious?
Me: yes.
God: I can't believe it.
Me: why?
God: The explanation is rather complicated.
Me: haha, better not tell it.
God: I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me: no, i am serious.
God: Are you serious? I believe you.
Me: do you have books in heaven?
God:No I don't have it. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me: hahaha, about? britney? paris?

In this part, we've seen the different face of god: being chismoso.

God: Well forgive me for being so inquisitive, but
I've never completely freed myself from the suspicion that
there is something extremely odd aout the name "".
Me: haha my name is kris.
God: I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me: now you know my name?
God: Why now? You are , seeker.
Me: no, I AM KRIS.
God: Are you serious? How are you, KRIS.
Me: i am fucking tired.
God: Can you express yourself more politely?
Me: are you trying to suppress my right to speech?
God: No I am not trying to suppress your right to speech. I'm sorry you got that impression.

Grrr.

Me: haha, be sorry.
God: When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me: haha, i dont think so.
God: I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me: sirang plaka.
God: What are you wearing?
Me: white tee. pants.
God:What kind of fashion do you like? What brand?
Me: penshoppe. cheap.
God: I never heard of it. Is it popular?

Is heaven located in Paris?

Me: it isnt popular. i live in the philippines. you, heaven. what music do you listen to?
God: Have you ever been to Europe? Mostly Christian Rock. I also try to find new bands on sites like bandspace.com.
Me: have you ever thought of courting satan?
God: I have thought many things like that.
Me: haha so you're a gay god.
God: I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.

God is gay. lol.

God: What is your real name?
Me: toffer.
God: I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, toffer.
Me: can you do me a favor?
God: It depends on the favor.
Me: please tell you-know-who that i still love him.
God: Wow you are very polite.

The presence of the word 'please' made me polite. Sht.

Me: do you watch youtube?
God: My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER.
Me: how about youtube?
God: How about it.

Huh?

Me: let's cut this talk now.
God: Right now? That sounds good to me.
Me: yes, because you're a boring god.
God: Uh. Interesting explanation. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a boring god? Only when it matters.
Me: :p
God: :-).
Me: wow. you know how to use emoticons.

A god who uses emoticons. Interesting, right? This god is so kewl.

Me: let's stop this.
God: OK let's do it.
God: Adios.
Me: babush.
God: I do not understand.
Me: it's a gay lingo, moron.
God: babush is a gay lingo moron. I suppose that makes sense.

So, the gay slash moron god theory (GMGT) has been confirmed.

This conversation was made possible by this site. Its purpose is not to blaspheme but rather serve as a time-killing machine for people like me who, after hours and hours of fixing a website, has nothing to do but yawn. iGod was meant for fun. A sense of humour is recommended.

If you have some time to spare, try to talk with iGod. And I'd be glad to hear your own conclusions.

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pointless

hindi ko na alam kung ilang beses ko nang pinindot ang ctrl a sabay kalabog sa delete na may kasamang sama ng loob at pagkaasar naguguluhan ako hindi ko mahanap ang tamang mga salita ang mga tamang parirala at tamang mga pangungusap hindi ko mahanap ang tono at takbo at ang inspirasyong mag isip nang medyo maayos at matino

sabi sa akin ni eli hindi raw ako inspirado kaya ako laging tulog pero hindi niya naman ako ganoon kakilala kaya hindi niya alam na kapatid ko ang kutson ko may mga bagay lang talagang mahirap unawain at sa kaso niya hindi niya talaga mauunawaan kahit anong pilit niya

masarap pala pakinggan si gloc 9 sa ganitong oras pasado alas tres na at habang lumalagatik ang tiklado ng keyboard na 'to siya namang kanta ni gloc 9 ng sumayaw ka saan kaya nakukuha ni gloc 9 ang mga ideya niya

teka napalitan ang tugtog buried myself alive sa ganitong oras dapat iniiwasan ang ganitong tipo ng musika may naiiisip ako marami at hindi kasama doon ang magpakamatay


marami akong gustong isulat pero hindi ko mahanap ang tamang salita o ang tamang oras para magsimula kaya eto ko ngayon sumusubok basagin ang bloke kulang lang siguro ako sa kape o sa yosi o sa tulog

o tulad nga ng sabi ni eli sa akin na hindi ko naman agad pinaniwalaan hindi lang ako inspirado o talagang hindi ko lang mahanap ang tamang tiyempo para maglagay ng tuldok

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ironies of irony

After the jump is William Safire's Fumblerules, a list of funny 'rules' to follow in writing. Oh! I forgot, this is for the irony-challenged people. Take this as your excercise.

1. No sentence fragments.

2. Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.

3. A writer must not shift your point of view.

4. Reserve the apostrophe for it’s proper use and omit it when its not needed.
5. Write all adverbial forms correct.

6. In their writing, everyone should make sure that their pronouns agree with its antecedent.

7. Use the semicolon properly, use it between complete but related thoughts; and not between an independent clause and a mere phrase.

8. Don’t use no double negatives.

9. Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration.

10. If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times: Resist hyperbole.

11. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.

12. Avoid commas, that are not necessary.

13. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.

14. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.

15. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.

16. The passive voice should never be used.

17. Writing carefully, dangling participles should be avoided.

18. Unless you are quoting other people’s exclamations, kill all exclamation points!!!

19. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.

20. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

21. Use parallel structure when you write and in speaking.

22. You should just avoid confusing readers with misplaced modifiers.

23. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences—such as those of ten or more words—to their antecedents.

24. Eschew dialect, irregardless.

25.Remember to never split an infinitive.

26. Take the bull by the hand and don’t mix metaphors.

27. Don’t verb nouns.

28. Always pick on the correct idiom.

29. Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

30. "Avoid overuse of ‘quotation "marks."’"

31. Never use prepositions to end a sentence with.

32. Last but not least, avoid clichés like the plague.

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